There’s no stars out in this darkened sky.
As a curl up, on the hard floor to lie
I cannot lay safe, cozied on this soft bed.
Not with the noises and memories floating in my damn head.
The cracks and the bangs that rang out in the night.
Times I saw many men fall, disappear out of sight.
Was that today, yesterday, or maybe tomorrow?
No bravery left here there’s only raw sorrow.
The noise and the smells that seem to linger.
Visions emerge from the ether, can I point the finger.
Red on green, red on khaki or red on the floor
I cannot close these images behind any door.
They come and they go an ex-military wave.
I am bound to the lost, a slow walking slave.
So, the wounded stand guard, around me till light
We never had time when you look down the sight.
Another night gone by not counting the sheep.
These long long nights without any sleep
I see all their faces behind every wall, every car.
Ghosts of past violence, lead me back to the bar.
A child on crutches limping, a doll dragged along.
A family bent crying, to a lamenting song.
Gunfire, bombs, fuel filled deadly incendiaries
To leave behind families with nothing but memories
So, I lean at the bar with an half full glass.
Blank stare into space till the images pass
I hope one day these thoughts will fade.
To happier times where children played
Not to hide in the ruins all covered in dust.
To come out into light and learn to trust.
And so, I continue, thoughts raw in my mind.
Another soldier pushed out, I’m not civilian aligned.
These days, I continue to try and live in this life.
And operate daily, measured in toil and strife.
With this leg, with a bullet still lodged so deep.
Will this be the night, I can get fitful sleep
