If you are an INFJ or an INFP personality type, you know it’s possible to experience intense attraction with your crushes. In fact, most of the time when you develop a “crush” on someone, it doesn’t feel like just a crush. It feels like an obsession.
This can be super confusing for INFJs and INFPs, and many of us blame ourselves for this, feeling like something is wrong with us or like we’re getting overly attached to someone we just recently met, or even someone who we might feel it’s inappropriate for us to have feelings for (especially if we’re already married or in some other type of committed relationship).
However, getting obsessed with people we have a romantic attraction to is actually quite normal for INFJs and INFPs, and it happens because of a few different reasons. Number one is that INFJs and INFPs are not attracted to the outer identity of a person (good looks, status, etc.), instead, we are attracted to the essence of the person (psychological traits and soul). Second, we are only attracted to those we deeply resonate with, and this is why our attractions have a truly “magnetic” quality. We also are usually attracted to people with wounds, and we usually want to help them heal those wounds.
These factors all trigger something deep within us that leads to intense attraction AND obsession.
I talk more about what is specifically triggered when an INFJ or an INFP falls in love with someone, and how it all plays out, in the video below:
I’m teaching a weekend workshop coming up this Saturday, March 18, called INFJs and INFPs in Love, and I’m going to be diving deep into the twisty labyrinth of INFJ and INFP love—what it looks like, why it can feel so torturous (and euphoric, sometimes at the same time), and how to deal with the common problems that come along with it (that no one ever talks about).
You can find all the details and register here:
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I hope I see you there!
Lauren Sapala is the author of The INFJ Writer, The INFJ Revolution, and the creator of Energy and Intuition for INFJs, an online course for INFJs on intuition, relationships, creativity, and more. She is also currently offering a free copy of her book Firefly Magic: Heart Powered Marketing for Highly Sensitive Writers to anyone who signs up for her newsletter. SIGN UP HERE to get your free copy.