i am wrapped in an orange towel crying in the bathroom.
because i am scared and because i am sad.
to lament the unlovable nature of oneself,
yet freeze at any moment of affection is a hard life to lead.
but i am leading it and it is hard.
why cant i open myself to people.
who made me this way.
who placed feelings so deep and profound in my heart,
but locked them in there, with a key planted on the other side of the world.
i am scared i’ll always think theres something wrong with me
i am very scared these days.
of men, of myself, of my bedroom.
so scared i have to stop living for a few hours just so i can live again.